As I’ve mentioned before, Keri and I don’t own a TV. It’s a decision that we made on purpose to help keep the lines of communication open in our home. But even without a television, there are still so many things that try to pull the two of us apart from one another. Whether it’s my wife’s desire to read her favorite blogs after an exhausting day with our kids or my efforts to manage freelance website & graphics projects, life has a way of trying to bring emotional distance between the two of us.
To combat this natural tendency in our relationship, we introduced a new nightly ritual into our schedule a couple of weeks ago. Once we get the kids in bed and the house set back in order, we’ve committed to spend at least 20 minutes sitting on the couch together without distractions – just talking about the day and snuggling. My personal goal is to begin our couch time with a few minutes of encouraging my wife and building her up – something that I’m ashamed to say I have neglected for the past ten years of marriage (more on this later).
In just these two weeks, I can already tell that God is helping us break down some barriers that were beginning to creep up between us.
(As an aside, I find it ironic that all the stock photography I looked at showed computers pulling families together for some fun family time. Really? I’m not saying that it’s not possible, but there’s no way that’s the norm.)
Kyle I see no reason to be ashamed. We are inherently taught our whole lives “you” need to study, “you” need to make good grades, “you” need to make wise choices…. Follow me? Add to that the drive to provide for your family, yet another distraction. I was put at the helm of a business at the age of 16, so I learned how to encourage people. Misty was the number one recruiter in the United States last December, I always told her that you were made to accomplish great things, and you will probably make more money than me one day. My son Matthew told me that he is going be a General in the Military, and I said, our family name is in the history books, so the sky is the limit!
You are surrounded by successful people, so you will likely accomplish great things. Success breeds success!
You are definitely on the right track bro, thanks for sharing. I find it much more fulfilling to help others succeed.
Mike
I love this! We have been known to to occasionally go without talking about anything but “business” on occasion as well. I can’t say that it was intentional, but at least 3-5 times a week, we talk about anything and everything before going to bed. It’s one of m favorite things to do! There’s so much room for resentment and bitterness to grow when “space” is allowed to grow in a marriage.
Wow! What a huge challenge to us. I know I’ve allowed the TV to become an idol among other things. Just imagine if aliens came to earth to see what we’re about. They’d report back that our Leader is a colorful box that we make the center piece of our homes and stare at for hours on end. I’m going to take the challenge, and hopefully the first conversation won’t be, “I wonder what’s on TV?”
I think your method and goals are enlightened! You are both honoring God. I appreciated you sharing your life through this blog.
I am not sure this response is not a seguay, but this is what is on my heart to share. I have always considered myself an optimistic person, glass half full and all that, However…Our society/culture encourages a critical spirit disguised as realism, analysis, etc….it appears to be more inteligent or something. Some time ago I became convicted during Bible study that some of my conversation, paticularly news commentary, was discouraging, critical and negative. That is not a fruit of the Holy Spirit! I needed spiritual renewal, and for my attitude to change. Over and over again, the Bible encourages us to hope and have faith, to be truly grateful in all things, expect the best, and trust God’s will, not to be negative, critical, analytical and “realistic” (doubtful). I decided to stop all complaining, criticizing and arguing, not just mostly avoid it. Only when I began to weed it out, did I realize what a huge part of my life it had been, and how it encouraged pride and indifference, and how it was impacting my life and the one closest to me. It is still something I must strive toward, but that change in my attitude is making a huge difference in my ability to hear from God and be aware of my actual relationships with others.