Hair Dying Tips for Dudes

I’m far from being a professional in this area, but I thought it would be fun to put together a few tips for any guys out there who might dye their hair some day.

1. Prepare yourself mentally beforehand.  All the good hair dye colors have women on the front of the package.  The boxes will talk about vitamins, shine, and other stuff you care nothing about.  Just pick out the color that looks best.  Once you’ve selected a color, take notice of the woman on the front of the box.  You’ll need to find her again if you like the way the color turns out (or avoid her, if you don’t).
2. Make sure to purchase a small empty shampoo travel bottle while you’re out shopping.  You’ll thank me for this later.  (If you don’t have a mirror, make sure to get one of those too.)
3. When you get ready to check out, don’t worry about what the checker thinks.  He or she will probably just assume all this stuff is for your wife or girlfriend, so don’t sweat it.  (If you’re really concerned, go ahead and buy some tampons too.  That will certainly remove all doubt.)
4. When you’re home and ready to dye your hair, make sure to take off your shirt first.  It’s not in the instructions, but if you’re doing this by yourself, it will make things easier when it’s time to rinse the dye out.
5. If you have short hair, rather than mixing the dye like they’ve suggested, pour a third of each of the dying elements into the small empty travel bottle and shake the mixture up in there.  This will let you save enough unmixed dye to do your hair twice more. (Just so you know, they’re not kidding about the bottle exploding if you try to save the mixed dye.  It might not be as dramatic as a bomb exploding, but it will at least leave a nasty puddle of dye on your counter top.)
6. There should be two gloves in the dye box.  Rather than using both, just put on one.  Use one hand for applying the dye and the other for holding the mirror and wiping off extra dye with toilet paper.  When you do this, you’ll probably notice that these gloves were made for small hands, but you don’t really need to use your pinky anyway.
7. Once you’ve applied the dye, waited for the recommended amount of time, and are ready to rinse your hair, make sure you have a dark towel with you .  Just to be safe, you should probably use a dark towel to dry your hair at least the next two or three times you wash it.
8. Once you’re done, put the dye components, the extra glove, and the directions back in the box and store for next time.  Rinse out the travel shampoo bottle in the sink and it will be ready too.
9. Congratulations, you’ve managed to dye your hair without losing a y chromosome in the process!