Nine Ways to Wreck Your Job

The last post was a little heavy, so I thought I’d write this one with a little less seriousness.

Looking for some great opportunities to wreck you job? Here’s a list of six things that will shake things up in the workplace:

  1. Bring a machete to work, and keep it on your desk.
  2. Get some bright pink sunglasses, and never take them off.
  3. Always refer to yourself in third person, and insert “silly” before your name. (eg. “Can you meet about that proposal with silly Kyle today?”)
  4. Unless you have a uniform, wear the same thing to work every day.
  5. Remove all of the letter e’s from your emails and letters.
  6. Always bring your pets with you to work.
  7. Spend your lunch breaks under your desk.
  8. Send out a daily photo of yourself to the rest of the staff. (Childhood photos should work fine.)
  9. Pretend like you have an imaginary friend who lives in your desk drawer.
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Six Ways to Wreck Your Spiritual Life

Maybe your spiritual life is going a little too well lately and you’re looking for a way to bring things down a notch or two.  Just follow these steps to see your spiritual life quickly erode into a mess:

  1. Do what you feel like doing.  Avoid difficult things.  Do what comes naturally.
  2. Consume vast amounts of media.  Watch and listen to whatever you want.
  3. Harbor resentment, especially towards your family.  In your free time, think about the ways they’ve let you down.
  4. Worry about your stuff.  Hoard it all.
  5. Don’t read the Bible or pray.
  6. Don’t trust God.  Live in fear and worry.  Live your life as though Jesus never lived, died, and rose again for you.

Any other steps to recommend?

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